LevixReader - I Want Your Life

It’s a peaceful day. Well, if you count Eren and Jean’s bicker, Sasha’s drooling face, Hanji’s rambling and Levi’s death glare as normal and peaceful, then yeah, it is.

It was noon so everyone go to the mess hall to get their lunch. You were busy checking paperworks at both hands and late to realized you bumped into something when you’re about to leave the hall. Or rather, someone. And hard, fyi, as you stumble backward and almost fall on your butt but the person you bumped into catch you arm before you did. You glanced up and met Levi’s death glare. The hall become silent as the cadets hold their breath. It’s been a while since you and Levi in each other’s throat.

“Watch your step, midget.” Levi opened his mouth, broke the silent with his ‘remarkable’ insult. You rolled your eyes and softly slapped his hand which is still holding you.

“That’s my line, shortstuff.” You heard few gasps and Levi’s expression getting even darker but you shrugged him off and left. Levi grumped in annoyance but didn’t hold you back, just continue his steps to the squad leader’s table, getting even more grumpier as Hanji laugh at his face.

“That girl sure is awesome!” Hanji said in between her laughs.

“Shut up, Shitty Glasses!”

After that little incident, for days you met him more often, whispering meaningless insults whenever you both within ear which isn’t actually a whisper since the others around can hear you both loud and clear. They just hope it would pass quickly and return to their normal days, but looks like the God is playing with you as you passed him almost every hour. The atmosphere gets so intense that sometimes Hanji or Erwin have to break your little wars.

You drop your body on the chair behind you work desk, throwing the paperworks you brought on it then leaned back, trying to calming down your erratic breath. It’s really a hard weeks for you. The last expedition was quite a mess, many casualties including a couple of squad leaders, leaving three times endless works for you behind as you’re in charge to take care of their papers and squads as Erwin looking for their replacement.

This mess finally taking it’s toll on you. Your tired self lost it’s shine. You ended up always wearing this stern expression as you look at your paperworks in both hands, bringing them wherever you go as you tried to finished it as soon as possible. And meeting Levi on your way around only make it worse. You and him always have this tension when you’re within his reach, vice versa. You two works really well in expedition and you trust your live to each other, but outside that, mere meaningless insults left both of your mouth is the friendliest chit-chat you have, if there’s such a word.

Your office’s door opened and Levi went inside, slapping a stack of another paperworks on your head. You took and read it at incredible speed as he checks the ones you finished.

“Why this thing given to me? This’s your authority.” You said with frowned. He took a pile or yours which left untouched and shoved it to you.

“Because you didn’t finish this crap earlier. Check your damn deadline, stupid. Stop giving me your leftover.” He said then take that pile back.

“Oh, please, stop blaming me for your own incompetence, Levi. I told you ages ago to sort that out before i signed it but you didn’t.”

“Can’t you do it yourself, woman? Do you think my works is this damn pile alone?!”

“At least you works is lessen than mine! What’s so hard with sorting this out? If you don’t like all of it just throw these useless crap in your trash bin!”

“Then why don’t you just fucking did? It doesn’t matter who did anyways!”

“Of course it does! If it doesn’t, they won’t requested you to check it beforehand!”

“Well, i gave you the approval!”

“That wasn’t counted as approval! You just took a glance at it!”

“That means that piece of crap doesn’t worth my attention, dammit!!” he slammed his fist on your desk. You twitched your eyes in anger, harshly grab the pile from his hand and tore it to pieces, caused a mess in your room.

“Problem solved! Now shut your crap and let me finished my work!” You glared at him as he glared back at you angrily for 5 seconds before storming out from your room. You plopped down on your chair again, hiding your face in your arms as you tried to hold your boiling anger. You knew it wasn’t entirely his fault but you can’t think straight from exhaustion.

“This’s the first time i saw you blow up, [Name].” Hanji said to you. Judging from the distance of her voice, she must be leaning on your door. You shook your head but not lifting it up. You heard clacking boots getting closer then she softly pats your back.

“I know he's not entirely at fault,” You says, “but to hear that from him is... oh, i don’t even know what to think anymore.”

“Do you regret for lashing it out to him?”

“...Actually, not really.” She cuckles in response.

“I bet he doesn’t either. But i don’t think it’s a good think to left it like this. Maybe it sounds weird coming from me, but you only have each other. Don’t let this kind of thing get into you.”

“...It is indeed weird. But we’re not even that close.” You lift your head and leaned back on her and she moved her hand to caress your hair.

“Close doesn’t limited on how intimate you both are, [Name]. But i personally thinks your bickering is kinda sexy.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, you see my dear, you got this sensual atmosphere whenever you both are around. I wonder what would happen if we left you two alone in a locked room.”

“Hanji, if you want to fuck someone, go get Erwin.”
***

At night when the cadets already went to bed, you’re called to an urgent meeting at Levi’s office. You sigh desperately but went anyway. As you arrived, you found Levi alone sitting on his desk, writing at such a speed.

“What? I’m the first to arrived?” You asked retorically and seat yourself at the sofa near him. He grumble at you but didn’t leave his attention from his paper.

“At least knock, will you.” He replied. you shrugged him off, shift around for a more comfortable position and directed your full attention to the paperworks you brought. You both working in silent for a full 15 minutes before Erwin and Mike coming in. They both look at you questioningly but say no word, take a sit across to you and wait for the other to come not long after.

At the first 30 minutes, the meeting was peaceful. But as the time went by, the meeting turned it’s course, changed into yours and Levi’s verbal fight as you came to disagreement towards many things, even Erwin and Hanji’s effort to calm both of you down was cast aside.

“As i said, it’s fucking ridiculous.”

“It’s not, Levi. And even if you refuse, i’m gonna use this plan.”

“And let you screw your ass in those fucking titan’s grip? Who do you think will have to fucking come to save your damn ass when that happen?”

“I won’t screw myself and there’s no one have to come for my aid!”

“[Name], Levi, we can’t continue our meeting with both of you like this.” Erwin said, a desperated tone slightly visible from his voice. But heck, you and Levi paid no attention to him as you both continue your banter to a much heated argument. The other’s surrended and slowly leaving you alone, followed by Hanji as she closed the door behind her.

“Stop being stubborn, [Last Name]!” Levi snapped. He only called you by your surename when he’s totally pissed at you, just like you when you’re furious.

“Right back at you, Ackerman! Why do i have to be so concern with you thought anyways when you never bothered with mine!”

“I did to save your sorry ass before something happened! Can’t you understand that, damn woman?!”

“Everything can happened out there, Levi! Even you can’t guarantee it! You said so yourself back then! At least let me do something i won’t regret for the rest of my life!” you slammed your fists on his desk really hard, your face just milimeters away from him and he can see it clearly the determination you hold inside your eyes, but being so close to him, you can’t hide your sadness and hollow from the decision you made. He stared at you blankly but many things passing inside his mind like a whirlwind.

“How can you fucking say that when i can see the hollow inside your eyes? How can you be so sure you won’t regret it for the rest of your life? What makes you think i’ll let you jump at your grave right in front of my very eyes?” he said with low tone, almost a whisper. You stared at him, slightly taken aback from the loneliness in his voice.

“Why are you always doing this? Why are you always putting me in this fucking deep corner?” he continue, his hands slowly move to take yours in his grip, “what is it that you want from me?”

Your eyes falling down to his desk, the sadness and hollow you pressed deep inside yourself are slowly coming back. You knew there’s no promise you can give in this world full of tragedy and horror. You don’t even sure yourself if you can keep fighting in the miserable situation and grave fate you’re in. Unintentionally, your tears flowing down from your clear eyes.

“I don’t have any choice, Levi. This world, these people, all of them needs you. I needs you. Yet, as much as i despised it, i can’t promised you i’ll be there watching your back in the next hour. You are our hope, Levi, your wings are real. All i can do is to make sure you fly freely, even if it cost my life.”

Your hands form a ballfist inside his grip as faint sobs visible in your breaths. You lift your head and face him with your teary features, carving his in your mind as a reminder for your endless endeavor.

“We both know it since long ago, Levi. We both knows our feelings towards each other. You do know what i want from you. And i know exactly what you want from me.” You stop, looking at him lovingly mixed with pure sorrow, “In this world, there’s nothing i’ll ask other than you, Levi. I want you. I want you so bad i’ll destroy everything as long as i have you. All i want is your life. I want it as much as you want mine.”

He walk around from his desk to you with his hands still holding yours.

“We both know it in this world with pure terror, as long as you’re the Humanity’s Strongest, as long as you have your wings, i can never have you for myself and you can’t let yourself become anyone’s either. I know all your pain as you know mine, Levi. So please, let me be the one to shield your wings.”

And for the first time in the 10 years you know him, he hug you dearly.